I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We are all done wearing pants today
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
