i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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