maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
