He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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