Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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