I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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