from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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