Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
