it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize