Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
