Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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