Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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