The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
