I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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