He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
