Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize