Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
