omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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