This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
