the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
In America we eat man semen.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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