He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
