hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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