He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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