i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
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Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
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It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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