i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
