In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
