You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
