Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
