Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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