Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize