I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
