I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
