I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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