Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
