i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm sobbing to NWA
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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