the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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