Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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