Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
