We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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