Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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