I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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