normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
