My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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