Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
