the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
