when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think a kid would responsible me up
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
