yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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