I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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