He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
