Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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