she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
