I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my god I love twenty year old dicks
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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