Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize