she looked like the before picture.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
high people should be assigned attendants
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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