a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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