I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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