My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize