Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
