Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
