Dual....:-)
grandma shit on top of the toilet
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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