There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
