the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize